I know you’re keeping a little hope that one day, that maybe just one day, he will look at you in a different light. The hope in your heart is too strong that one day he will feel the same way too, to the point that you are willing to wait for that ‘one day’ to come, no matter how long it takes. You tell yourself a lot of times that he just doesn’t seem to get your implied but meaningful statements, that he just doesn’t notice how you secretly look at him from a distance and that he is just so clueless how informed are you with everything about him. You always condition yourself to be patient a little more, because you know in your heart that there is really a chance.
I know this is harsh, but maybe he has noticed it, it’s just that he doesn’t give a damn. Maybe that hope is false, that ‘one day’ may never really come and that there is really no chance – BECAUSE HE IS NOT JUST INTO YOU. Been there, done that! Not convince yet? Here are the signs you might want to consider:
1. HE IS AVOIDING YOU
If he replies after hours or days or weeks – He is not just into you. If he doesn’t take your calls, if he always has excuses whenever you or your friends invite him, and if you are constantly being seenzoned by him, girl, better wake up and give yourself some respect. Don’t feed your mind with justification that he is just busy. A person who is into you will always find a way to be with you or to get in touch with you. But if a guy doesn’t like you he will always have excuses. Don’t waste your precious time checking your inbox, because you are not his priority. He is not making any effort to be with you or to communicate with you, simply because he doesn’t want to. Save yourself from further pain, don’t wait till he becomes blunt about it. So don’t run after the person who is running away from you.
2. HE IS NOT SAYING IT
Action speaks louder than word, but a guy who is into you will not keep you guessing. He will be honest. He will take the courage, however difficult it may seem. He will conquer his fears. He will not confuse you. He will let you know that he likes you. He will be man enough to speak up. He will pursue you, if he is really sure about his feelings for you. No buts, no ifs. If he is not saying anything, if he is not courting you, then better not to waste your time wishing. Because honestly, there is no chance. He is not just into you. I’m sorry. Just focus your energy and attention to some other things.
3. HE LIKES YOU BUT ONLY AS A FRIEND
Do not confuse a good friendship with the kind of relationship you have in mind. Don’t give a different meaning with the treatment he is giving you – because that’s basically how he treats a very special FRIEND. Not a girlfriend, but only as a FRIEND. Not because he is nice to you or he always wants to be around you it doesn’t mean he is falling in love with you. He probably just enjoys your company as a FRIEND. Nothing more, nothing less. Don’t be unfair to him by not appreciating the friendship he is building with you, just because you are blinded by your own feelings. Don’t be unfair to yourself too. You don’t deserve all those wrong assumptions of love and mistaken basis of happiness. If he can only love you as a friend, accept it. Be a friend to him too by respecting his feelings and the relationship he can only offer. Sometimes there are people who are better of as friends. So don’t push it anymore.
4. HE IS SEEING SOMEBODY ELSE
If you see him out with someone, if he keeps posting his picture with another person or if he keeps mentioning or telling stories about somebody else – please, do not think he is just making you jealous. If a guy likes you the least that he will do is to hurt you. He will make all the efforts to appear single and available for you. He will even avoid all the possibilities of being linked to any other girls.
If bad news break, and you learn the sad truth, you have nothing best to do but to accept it with class and grace. Never act as if you are a jealous girlfriend, because you are not – A GIRLFRIEND. Don’t get mad at him, oh please. Don’t create drama. Save yourself some dignity. Let go and move on.
5. HE REMEMBERS YOU ONLY WHEN HE IS BORED OR WHEN HE NEEDS YOUR HELP
Here you are jumping out of joy, because finally he remembers you. But wait! Before you assume that he is checking on you, check the context of his message firat. Is he just bored? Does the conversation make any sense? You would know a person who just texts you out of boredom if he disappears in the middle of the conversation without any warning, because he either finds another person to talk to, or he finds some other things to do.
Also, ask yourself “Does he need anything?” There are guys who text not for any romantic reasons, but simply because they need help. Apparently, you appear to him as the best person to approach, because he is aware that you’re always there for him and you always make a way for him.
Ladies, there is a big difference between a guy who makes an effort to be noticed and a guy who is a plainly a user. Be wise enough to figure out the difference before it’s too late.
Give yourself a big favor and don’t chase the man of your dreams, because the right one will chase you. He will make an effort to be in your life. With that person, it’s not gonna be a one way street. You just got to let go of what’s not meant for you so as to make room for the one who will give you the love you truly deserve. You just got to wait a little more. What’s meant for you will not escape you. It’s just a matter of time – right time. The reason why sometimes people meet the wrong ones is for them to appreciate the right one. At any rate, carry on and do not be a bitter heart. Trust that rejection is sometimes a blessing in disguise. Know that this is all for your good. ♡
Photography by: Kervin Acuna, Philippines